Suicide Squad: Snap! Crackle! *Fizzle….*

“Suicide Squad feels like an attractive date who turned out to be quite boring”

 

suicide-squad-movie

I feel like I was ‘Catfished’.

For the uninformed, a catfish is ‘someone who pretends to be someone they’re not using Facebook or other social media to create false identities, particularly to pursue deceptive online romances.’ (urban dictionary – see also, movie and TV series)

After soooo much long-awaited hype and a mega marketing campaign that pushed The Joker and Harley Quinn as the forefront of the tale, IĀ  went to see ‘Suicide Squad’ with all geek-iness, ready to be Wowed.. Keep in mind I’m a lifelong comic book fanboy of the highest order; I love indulging in fantasy action movies. BUT, dammit – despite this impressive cast, and the promise of something fun and chaotic, unfortunately Suicide Squad was a big disappointment :-/.

In fact, Suicide Squad feels like a sexy date who turns out to be quite boring. Like someone you met on an dating website who looks great in the photos, sounded exciting, and said all the right things we want them to say. Seems like it will be a helluva fun time! – but despite all the gloss and promise, nothing much actually happens. All that built up excitement for a letdown. Overall, this movie just isn’t that good. But there are a few (very few) redeeming qualities which save this from an unmitigated disaster. But then, there are just some downright Terrible elements which had me zoning out at times. So here is the GOOD, the BAD, and the TERRIBLE that was ‘SS”.

Lets start with The UGLY:
This movie has rush job written all over it. From a story perspective it was surprisingly sloppy and the action was ‘by the numbers’. We start with short, choppy montages introducing the cast of Baddies – each with their own soundtrack (that got annoying very quickly). These quick snippets should help us build some kind of empathy or rapport with our cast. But not really. We we got is summaries of a bunch of people we really don’t care about and then watch them do a bunch of stuff for some reason, because a government official says so. They run from Danger Point A -to Danger Point B and shoot things and fight a lot. Shit blows up. One-liners are spewed. And soon I forgot what the plot was even about.

Outside of Viola Davis’ wonderful turn as Amanda Waller (government agent putting this team together) the rest of the script is pretty bad. The dialogue was gawd-awful. I haven’t heard so many terrible one-liners since ‘The Expendables’. I mean…it is REALLY that bad. There are maybe three characters in the movie and I’m thinking to myself ‘Why are YOU even here??? What’s your purpose??‘ I can’t remember the last time I went to a movie with such high hopes and came away with nothing to like about it.
I’m guessing that filmmaker David Ayers had a few days to bang out this script from conception to finish. At least it feels that way. From a direction and editing view, this movie is a technical blunder and looks sloppy. It uses about three different techniques (quick flashes, fade-outs, drug-induced flashbacks?) that have no kind of cohesion with each other. It’s as if Ayer simply tried different camera tricks and hoped one would work. All the scenes rush immediately from cut to cut, OR – even more disturbingly, we get AT LEAST 20 character close-ups that linger longer than necessary. Do we really need to pan in on Will Smith’s face every single time he says something? I mean, the fact that I even notice all of this tells you just how bad the editing job is.

THE BAD:
So the movie is about the ‘world’s most dangerous criminals’. IN the pantheon of DC Comics, these guys are C-level at best. The ‘worst’ bad guys would be Lex Luthor, Darkseid, Doomsday, The Joker, Black Adam – real heavy hitters capable of doing real damage. Instead we get a guy who loves to climb (he dies immediately), a bank robber who tosses a boomerang (aptly named Captain Boomerang), and a Psychiatrist-turned-crime acolyte (Harley Quinn). There are more but does it really matter? Not really. Will Smith’s character Deadshot perhaps qualifies as the TRULY worst of the bunch, playing a an elite assassin of the highest order, the ‘world’s most wanted hitman’ who never misses a shot, ever. Throughout the movie, and we assume it is so egregious that he doesn’t want to talk about it – and yet,

All that being said, this Bad Guy bunch doesn’t quite live up to their reputation. They are not so unspeakably evil as to cause concern (despite getting the Hannibal Lector treatment),Ā  and after being corralled by the government, within a few scenes the movie rushes them into danger to be all heroic and blah blah blah. At no point do we get the feeling ‘Oh man….these guys ARE bad!” NOPE. Nothing to keep our attention for 2 hours.

Here’s where Warner Bros fails to match expectation with delivery. This movie should have been Rated R. Take Deapool for example. ‘Deadpool’ proved to Hollywood that a HARD Rated R action/comedy movie can work IF the story is well-written. Ryan Reynolds’. Deadpool was BRILLIANT. Deadpool delivered on all fronts; witty banter, hilarious vulgarity, clever action pieces all while chopping people to bloody bits with delirious glee. With Deadpool, we laugh our asses off while absorbing the viscera. None of these element exist with Suicide Squad. Not only does ‘SS’ give us nothing to cheer for, it gives us nothing to root against. Nothing to connect to to, and, in the end, NOTHING to care about. It’s a shame, really. So much lost potential.

Well, except Margo Robbie šŸ™‚ šŸ™‚ šŸ™‚ My Goodness, Margo Robbie is a superstar!

THE GOOD (The very GOOD!)
Harley Quinn single-handedly saves this movie. Where does acting end and reality begin? I swear this was the living embodiment of Harley Quinn! – one of the best characters in recent memory. Margot Robbie NAILS Harley and is the #1 reason to go to see this movie, AND, the #1 reason to STAY and finish the movie! LOL šŸ˜› – Harley was the PERFECT mix of sassy, sexy, sultry, slutty, and DANGEROUSLY chaotic….that was some damn good acting!
Every scene that Harley is occupies is a godsend. Every scene without Harley is really just wasted celluloid. No, seriously. Take Harley out of this movie and it flat out SUCKS. And I do mean suck. This movie wouldn’t have worked without Harley. NOT. At. Allll…..

Enough praise about Harley Quinn. Will Smith does his usual Will-Smith-iness. I mean, its Will SMITH. He nails his scenes and his lines. The guy has mastered effortless charm. We KINDA care about his character and we KINDA care that he succeeds? – But then again we don’t. His character is a cool assassin guy and well, thats it. In all honestly this could have been Will Smith and Margot Robbie (AGAIN), and I would have been fine with that. They have the BEST lines and the best dialogue. The chemistry was so-so, but not forced.
It would have made for an interesting love-triangle between Deadshot, Harley Quinn and…

THE JOKER.

Yeah, forget about the Joker. We were all hoodwinked. Bamboozled I’m not sure what Warner Bros wanted to accomplish here. Did they WANT to piss fans off?? Well, they did. For all the outrageous stories of the immensely talented Jared Leto going ‘full retard’ and method acting the FUCK out of The Joker – apparently most of his scenes got cut out of the movie.
Yes folks, all that hype and glamorous marketing, and the Joker only shows up for a few cut-scenes, flashbacks, and vignettes.
YEP. Total bait-n-switch. Which was too bad, because the Joker /Harley storyline is really what keeps this movie interesting!

Notice I didn’t even mention the plot. Don’t worry it is pointless. The plot is ridiculous. And this is coming from a true comic book geek. This was the whackest plot line in recent memory. I’m not even sure WTF the plot was, but it doesn’t matter. A bunch of scruffy villain are rushed into action to do stuff that we don’t really care about.

And then there was Harley Quinn šŸ™‚

And that really sums up Suicide Squad.

If not for Will Smith and Margot Robbie I would seriously give this movie ONE STAR out of FIVE, just for sucking so badly. Without those two? this movie is unwatchable.

Posted in New Releases

2CBG MOVIE REVIEW: ‘Interstellar’ – or, movie stars are BIGGER than actual stars.

The main takeaway from Interstellar is this –

What is big, dark and terrifying and has a gravitational force so powerful that it sucks in nearby planets and stars and not even LIGHT can escape it?? No, not Gabrielle Sidibe. A cosmic black hole!
But when it comes to quantum physics, nothing equals the star power that is the indestructible Matthew McConnaughey! -who is so cool he survives a black hole and comes out on the other side looking better than ever!

We find out that the world will not end by aliens (ID4), or ice (Day after Tomorrow), or gigantic waves (2012), or zombies (pick a movie) – but by DUST. Plain ol’ dust will wipe us all out.

Hey look – is that a wormhole?! šŸ˜€

interstellar3

The Goods:

Christopher Nolan can do no wrong. He can only do varying degrees of ‘very right’.

The concept is forward thinking. Loved it.

The execution is richly detailed. No surprises there. (I mean, it IS Nolan)

Anne Hathaway ā¤

The casting is exceptional. A few surprises here and there.

The drama touches the heart.

Jessica Chastain’s lips. ā¤

The space scenes are spectacular.

Matthew McConaughey is indestructible.

The Not-So-Goods:

90% of movie-goers will have NO clue what the F is going on most the time. It is very science-y and space-y – maybe to a fault.

There are no pirates, no princesses, no Ryan Goslings, or fast car chases – and that may be a problem for some.

Unlike Sandra Bullock in ‘Gravity’ – Anne Hathaway does NOT strip down to her skivvies.

 

Overall -Masterful, but not quite a masterpiece. Still, I loved it!

Grade: B+

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Guess who finally joined the twitter movement?!

yes, it is true….the 2 comic book guys have joined the social media movement. probably a few years too late (we do have lives that exist outside……and by that, we actually mean outside). anyway, we can be found on twitter @2comicbookguys. more social media sites to follow. and as always, we will try to bring you the latest news and the hottest topics plus the madness and craziness that we can!

(Jay) Exactly! Talk about dinosaurs – this WordPress blog is starting to feel like Yahoo chatrooms lol. The internet was a MUCH different place when we started out 6 years ago. Twitter was barely a thing. Hell, I was still active on MySpace. By the time we get going on again something NEW will be popular! Maybe we should launch a full website? Hmmm….

-Jay and Friday-

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2 Comic Book Guys presents: The Inhumans official casting!

Folks, this is happening!

With the recent announcement from Marvel launching the Phase 3 lineup, we here at 2cbg are over-excited about the pocket-draining, time-consuming cinematic GOODNESS that will be the next 5-6 years of our lives. But no one is talking about the next SLEEPER hit Marvel is going to drop on us; THE INHUMANS!!!!

Probably because they are too busy trying to read up on it and become internet”experts”. Its ok fellow nerds…. WE have YOU covered. See, over here we are lifelong nerds. Damn near the originators of the casting blog (sorry, Wizard. We are claiming it. First!). Jay and myself have been reading these books for just about 3 DECADES (yeah, that kind of ages us, but 30 is the new 20), and nothing was off limits to us. I can remember buying up comics when they were a dollar or less, or you could get a 3-pack for $2. Yeah, that was like getting a free read, even if it was a lessen known character or some promo book (like the recently released Spider-Man with President Obama in it)! Who cared, honestly? Its like the seat belt on a Bumbo seat;

you don’t know why its there, you just pay it no mind and still throw your kid in it. I digress, though. On to the casting of the next big thing. You read it here first!

The casting of The Inhumans is going to be important. You have to draw in an audience of people who are not familiar with the books and the characters. So I think we have to have a few big names to draw in the masses.

Lets start with the Leader, Black Bolt.

I am going to go with Milo Ventimiglia on this one. Yes, I know he is not going to have any lines in this movie, but we all know he can physically perform all of the stunts required to play the role. and ladies, how is going to look in the leather/spandex outfit? You want the background on Blackagar Boltagon? You can read it on the Marvel wiki here.

Medusa

Yup, that’s right! Mrs. Timberlake herself! After a few not so great performances, her recent pregnancy announcement, this could be the vehicle that jump starts her career. She can rock just about every hair color, and she obviously keeps fit enough to look amazing in either body paint or liquid latex (every fan boys dream). More on Medusa here.

Karnak

I am going to rock with Taylor Lautner on this one. Still riding the waves of success with the Twilight series but not much after, he already possesses the martial arts abilities required of the role, so they will look natural on screen. Plus he has already worked with Milo so the on screen chemistry as brothers in law will be there. More on Karnak here.

Triton

Jai Courtney. Already shaping up to be one of the next big action heroes, Jai has held court with some of the biggest names in Hollywood and is a versatile actor who would be absolutely perfect as the only Inhuman who can’t breathe oxygen. More on Triton here.

Crystal

Kate Upton. Yep, this one is a no-brainer. Am I right, everyone? She did a pretty good job in The Other Woman. Then there’s the……um…..other attributes she possesses. And I just want to see her in that tight yellow outfit. I don’t think I will get any complaints in that department. More on Crystal here.

Seeker

James Franco equals perfection! Can rock that Fu Manchu/Goatee combo really nicely. Can play an asshole with ease. And it gets him into a fantasy/sci-fi genre film. We the fanboys/girls pay handsome rewards to see people who excel at this level. And I think the older Franco is just a great cast choice.

Gorgon

I am doing the race swap thing here. I think Omari Hardwick would be absolutely perfect for the role. This guy was amazing in dark blue, and is currently on Power, playing a duel role. He has the physique and the acting chops to pull it off, and this could be the breakout role for him to get ahead on the list of black actors in lead roles in the future. More on Gorgon here.

Maximus

Yes! The antagonist of the movie, Hartnett is going to kill it! Because he is currently killing it on Penny Dreadful, and remember his performance in Lucky Number Slevin?! Go back and check it out if you don’t! This guy will own this role! More on Maximus the Mad here.

Friday, overly excited about future cinema purchases!

(Jay) Damn dude! This casting is pretty dope! I have nothing to add! NOTHING. Props on the following selections: Milo Ventimiglia (Peter from NBCs Heroes) as Black Bolt! Jai Courtney (Varro from Spartacus!) as Triton! Fuckin Josh Hartnet as Maximus!

I seriously doubt anything that Hollywood casts will rival this. Do we need to move to LA and become writers?

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